Product review: Ewan the sheeeeep

Batteries haven’t been run down this quickly since your dad worked out how to get Grindr on his phone.

Ewan the sheep is a sleep aid that combines three elements that babies love; noise, lights and sheep.

1) Ewan plays a series of white noise type tunes which might help your little one to drop off to sleep. Quite a few of these sound like rain, so if baby is sleeping in the same room as you, you should prepare to wet the bed in your sleep a lot more.

2) Buried deep inside Ewan’s thorax is a light emitting diode. Remember that gas fire your nan used to have which had a moveable orange bulb underneath some fake coal? It’s like that but in a sheep.

3) Er, he’s a sheep.

On occasions Ewan appears to provide comfort to the baby. More often though he provides comfort to the parents. Wind? Switch Ewan on. Teeth hurting? Switch Ewan on. Perhaps the only person being consistently comforted is the bloke who owns the battery shop.

Recommendation: No idea whether there is a correlation between Ewan and successful sleep. Still use him every single night regardless.  Buy shares in AAA batteries.